This means as a human being you need to be as curious as you can about your own experience, as honest as you can about your own understanding of what’s real for you.

As it appears, our beautiful mind is not capable of not thinking.  Our mind is always occupied by thoughts, whether we want to or not, and they influence our every action.

When we are still children, our thoughts seem to be purely positive. Have you ever been around a 4-year old who doesn’t like a painting he or she drew? I haven’t. Instead, I see glee, exciting and pride in children’s eyes. But as the years go by, we clutter our mind with doubts, fears and self-deprecating thoughts.

Just imagine then how much we limit ourselves in every aspect of our lives if we give negative thoughts too much power! We’ll never go after that job we’ve always wanted because our nay-saying thoughts make us doubt our abilities. We’ll never ask that person we like out on a date because we always think we’re not good enough.  I always say most of our thoughts are more toxic than the food we eat. 

“Who can create happiness, safety, contentment? Only you…and only authentic you.” Leah Roling.

We’ll never risk quitting our job in order to pursue the life and the work of our dreams because we can’t get over our mental barrier that insists we’re too weak, too unimportant and too dumb. We’ll never lose those pounds that risk our health because we believe we’re not capable of pushing our limits. We’ll never be able to fully see our inner potential because we simply don’t dare to question the voices in our head.

But enough is enough! It’s time to stop these limiting beliefs and come to a place of sanity, love and excitement about life, work and ourselves.

  1. Learn to substitute negative thoughts with positive ones. Every time a negative thought crawls into your mind, replace it with a positive thought. It’s just like someone writes a phrase you don’t like on a blackboard and then you get up, erase it and write something much more to your liking.  Put post-it notes in your space to remind you how amazing you are.  If you have not ever done that—I would challenge you to!  It’s simple yet profound. 
  1. See the positive side of every situation, even when you are surrounded by pure negativity.This one is a bit harder to put into practice, which does not mean it’s impossible. You can find positivity in everything by mentally holding on to something positive, whether this be family, friends, your faith, nature, someone’s sparkling eyes or whatever other glimmer of beauty. If you seek it, you will find it. My husbands mantra is “no problem” and he lives it!
  1. At least once a day (I like to start the morning this way), take a moment and think of 2-3 things you are grateful for. This will lighten your mood and give you some perspective on what is really important in life and how many blessings surround you already.
  1. Change the mental images you allow to enter your mind. Our media keeps us thinking we are not good enough, pretty enough, thin enough. How you see yourself and your surroundings make a huge difference to your thinking. It is like watching a DVD that saddens and frustrates you, completely pulling you down. Eject that old DVD, throw it away and insert a new, better, more hopeful one instead.

So, instead of dwelling on your worry, your coulda’s woulda’s, and negative thoughts, consciously build and focus on positive, loving thoughts and situations in your mind a few times a day.

If you are persistent and keep on working on yourself, your mind will automatically reject its negative thoughts and welcome the positive ones.  When you think of yourself as strong, smart and healthy, your choices will align with that identity.  Similarly, if you think of yourself as weak, fat, and ugly, your next cookie binge is just around the corner. 

You are (or will become) what you think you are. This is reason enough to be positive and loving about whatever is going on in your head.

What does a self care junkie, enneagram 3, book in my hand love?  

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