My approach to design/coaching, whether it be for home or life, is personal and intimate. I dive below the surface to uncover what it is that you want, who you are, and why you want what you want. It is vulnerable but necessary in order to truly understand your heart’s needs. It is in this spirit that I thought I would start my first couple of blogs exposing mine. I decided to compile my stories, my lessons, and my mistakes into heart principles and share them.
(I apologize in advance for any offense taken by profanity used)
I’ll start with the first one Be Myself.
Have you every did something that after you did, thought “why did I do that? That did not honor my values, my time, my heart!” What is even more scary than realizing I wasn’t honoring myself, was not even asking the question. I spent years unconscious to even the notion of authenticity. I began to learn how to be gentler with myself, and I started feeling more positive and engaged with the world in general. I had an idea of what a wife/mother/trainer/teacher/life coach should be like, and I went through my life playing this role. I focused on being positive, and told myself that heartbreak would only make me stronger and that everything would be okay again someday.
To put it succinctly, I spiritually bypassed the emotional shitstorm that was raging under the surface. I’d walk out of my house and into the world as if my whole world wasn’t falling to pieces, and I would teach—I would run—I would perform. However, during this time, I found rich and trustworthy relationships with my inner guidance and experienced many deeply, profoundly loving moments. I’ve been a human being.
In looking back at these past years from this vantage point of Wife/Mother and Teacher/Student, I realized that it has not made me more enlightened, it’s simply made me more myself. And my “self” isn’t as one-dimensional and together as my vision of the perfect HUMAN.
I shake my head at all the years I spent putting enormous expectations upon myself—let alone the pressure to make everyone else believe that everything was really fine when it wasn’t. My friends know that fine for me is not fine! I did it ethereally, like a performance but realized it was time to remove the makeup which hid me and the corsets that constrained.
I am the director of my own acts, and I should be sitting comfortably in the director’s chair watching the world perform. Framing every beautiful moment my eyes can snap, record and embrace. Life should dazzle and allow for authentic memories to inspire me.
This journey to dig and explore—to uncover the best possible me is life-long—I hope to pick up some friends along the way. Friends that not only can guide and teach but that want to learn and grow. Together is better—and I am excited for the ride!